Furby Frenzy
by Ziptango
Summary: NOW what poor, pethetic creature has Mike brought home? (hint: read the title). Complete.
1. The junkyard

*~To my unfortunate sorrow, I don't own the TMNT. But whomever came up Furbys can keep the blasted things!  
  
Furby Frenzy  
by Ziptango  
  
  
"That part has to be around here somewhere!"  
  
Donatello stooped again and dug into the junk yard pile impatiently. Mike quickly stepped aside as a tidal wave of random scraps sprang into the air and careened haphazardly in his brother's wake.  
  
"Lets just come back tomorrow. If it's here, it's not going to run away."  
  
"Mike! We need that handle! You do want the toilet to flush again some time soon, right?" Don called back from somewhere in the piles' depths.  
  
"Well, yeah. But it's nothing we haven't dealt with before. I mean, we do live in a sewer. Besides, I'm starving!"  
  
"Easy for you to say! Your room isn't right by the bathroom. It's absolutely foul!" Don appeared again with an armful of more rubbish.  
  
"So make Raph sleep in your room. He's the one who broke the handle in the first place."  
  
Donatello seemed to consider it for a moment.  
  
"Alright, let me just take one last look. Some help would be nice, you know."  
  
"Oh right! No problemo!"  
  
With Mike's approval, Don dropped his load onto a near by car hood. It clanked and echoed so loudly that Mike cringed and looked around to make sure no passer-bys had heard. His older brother took no notice and began sorting through it. Mike watched with mild interest, occasionally plucking something out to examine closer. Yet, eternity seemed to pass by, and Donny still searched frantically for a toilet handle. Michaelangelo yawned and fingered a bent spoon boredly.  
  
"Common, Bro. Just give it up. Raph and Leo are going to throw a fit when we get.....wait a minute. What's this?"  
  
Mike dropped the spoon and leaned over Don's pile. A yellow and green fluff of fur, barley visible, had snared his attention. Don paused and looked up from a smashed walk-man.  
  
"What?"  
  
Mike shrugged and brushed the utilities off of his newfound treasure. Don observed in interest and his brow began to scrunch in confusion.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
The object sat firmly in Mike's palm, starring out with enormous brown eyes. It had a gum-drop figure with green fur bordering yellow fluff along its belly, paws, ears, and mane.  
  
"I have no idea. Humans come up with the weirdest things."  
  
Mike stroked it's belly tenderly wondering what poor child out in the cruel world had lost his or her beloved and precious toy. Suddenly it blinked and let out a gargantuan yawn. Mike yelped in astonishment and let it plunge to the ground roughly as he hid behind the car with Don.  
  
"My God! It's alive!"  
  
He exchanged a terrified glance with Donatello and then peeked around the car's fender for another look. Don stretched over behind Mike also stealing a quick glance, keeping a firm grip on his bo. The creature giggled childishly and rocked back and forth in the dirt.  
  
"Wwwwweeeee! Fun!"  
  
Mike scratched his head and released the tension of his hands on his nun-chucks.  
  
"It spoke!"  
  
"I could have sworn it was a..." Suddenly it interrupted Don as it started up again.  
  
"Me sleep again!" Then it began to snore rather obnoxiously, and only silence pursued.  
  
"Hhmm, I guess it's a sleep," Don whispered.  
  
"Maybe it's trying to trick us!"  
  
"Well, there's only one way to find out."  
  
The two emerged cautiously from behind the rusted car and hovered above the creature. Don's arm stretched behind his shell and pulled his bo out of the strap slowly. Mike watched wide eyed as his brother reached out with his weapon and poked the thing carefully in the back. Nothing happened.  
  
"That's weird," Don bent over and boldly picked it up. He turned it over in his hands briskly and began to laugh.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"It's mechanical!"  
  
Mike blinked.  
  
"Look," he tipped it over and showed Mike the screws located at the base. Suddenly, it sprang back to life and yawned again.  
  
"Cock-a-doodle-doo! Hehehe! Me Doh-Doh."  
  
"Doh-Doh? Is that your name, little guy?" Mike grinned and snatched it from Don's grasp.  
  
"Mike! It's a machine. It can't respond."  
  
"Hey!" The thing snapped.  
  
"That's right, Doh-Doh! You tell him!" Mike scratched under its beak-like mouth. Doh-Doh giggled and rocked back and forth in excitement. Don rolled his eyes and put his bo back into his shoulder strap.  
  
"Lets get going. That pizza is probably freezing cold by now!"  
  
"Yay!" Doh-Doh exclaimed.  
  
"Look! He's excited to see his new home!"  
  
"Uh huh," Don mumbled, deciding to humor him. He bent over and gathered some extra junk yard treasures, placing them on top of a large pizza box.  
  
"Well, lets go," he said. Mike saluted and grinned cheesily.  
  
"Doh-Doh, you're going to love it! Our place has great furniture you can slob around on, television, monopoly, and even plumbing!" he jabbered to his new furry friend as they walked home. Don spun around and scowled.  
  
"Except a flushing toilet!"  
  
Mike ignored the comment and stopped abruptly.  
  
"Hey, you don't need a diaper or anything, do you?"  
  
It snickered.  
  
"Umm...I hope that's a no."   
  
Don shook his head, but said nothing.  
  
Finally, they came to their manhole, glowing in the street-light's beam. Don struggled with the heavy lid and his load at the same time, becoming bit angry with the lack of help. Mike took no notice and continued to chatter.  
  
"But you have to be careful of Klunk. He's my cat. He doesn't like strangers much and he tends to get a little jealous. But don't tell him I said that. He might just decide to do his business somewhere more revengeful, and I'm not talking about the litter box!"  
  
"MIKE! Could you please give me a hand?!"  
  
"Oh yeah! Sure thing, Donny-boy. Just a sec," he scrambled for a moment and placed his furby safely on a near by trash can lid. He then returned, spit into his palms, and heaved at the cover. After he got it open, Donatello shifted his load to the other arm and held the lid as he fetched his pet.  
  
"Yippy!" it cheered. Mike smiled proudly as if it was his child's first words. Don frowned and motioned for him to go first. Mike curtsied mockingly and leapt into the hole.  
  
"Whooopppyyyy!" it cheered again as the air rushed by them, and he landed quiet as a cat into the sewer tunnel. Don followed closely behind, though accidently dropping some of his things into the murky water.  
  
"Aahh! No light!" Doh-Doh screeched.  
  
"Aww, are you scared, Buddy? It's ok, Daddy's gotcha."  
  
"Daddy?" Don huffed while he picked up his things.  
  
"Why not?" Mike smiled and let his cheek caress Doh-Doh's soft fur.  
  
"Mike, sometimes you worry me."  
  
He didn't reply and only stroked the furby's mane. It's purring reverberated throughout the pipes, make the atmosphere quiver. Donatello only ignored it and sniggered. For he knew once Mike's toy was introduced to Uncle Raph, it would probably never purr again.  
  
*~FIN  
  
  
  
*~ Lol, I couldn't resist! Sometimes you just get this nagging idea that won't go away until you type it up. Well, I hope you all liked it, and I'll have some more up very soon! Don't forget to review! Peace out! 


	2. Formal Introductions

Raph plopped into a chair and stretched his arms broadly while rotating his thick neck, working all the morning knots out of his muscles. Blinking groggily, he snatched the Cheerios and poured them noisily into a dirty bowl, crusted with some old tomato sauce and petrified noodles. He paid no attention to it, however, and reached for the milk jug. He shook it for moment, undid the cap, and let one eye peek through the nozzle checking for chunks. Satisfied, he poured it on top of his cereal until it overflowed on the edge slightly. Rubbing some early morning grime from his eyes, he grabbed his spoon at the same time and dipped it into the bowl, spilling even more of its contents onto the table surface. Munching loudly, he gazed around the quite kitchen in thought. He figured Leo was probably getting a head start on the day's katas, Don clacking on his computer, and Mike...well..who the hell knew what Mike was doing. Taking an enormous swallow, he let his spoon dive again, but it paused in midair as a small snort caught his attention. His beady eyes took in every detail of the room behind his red mask, but he noticed nothing peculiar. After a moment, he shrugged it off and returned to his breakfast, munching more softly. Then a stifled giggle, barely audible, broke the silence. He immediatly stood up from his chair, nearly knocking it over, and laid a tense hand on a sai resting securely in this belt. It was probably just Mike playing some stupid prank on him, but something about that giggle rubbed his nerves raw. Placing one foot in front of the other cautiously, he moved around the perimeter of the kitchen eyeing every shadow, crevasse, and crack. Nothing appeared to be wrong, but a keen feeling told him otherwise. Moments later, a sudden belch broadcasted into the thin air. Spinning around, he snatched his weapons and pointed them at the refrigerator. But what could possible be in there? Not even Mike could fit in the fridge, if he tried. He inched closer and closer and gripped the handle until another snicker confirmed his suspicions. It appeared to come from the area around the freezer. He savagely ripped the door and open, and jumped back in alarm as two large eyes glared back behind the frosty fog floating out towards him.  
  
"Hehehe! You found me!"  
  
Raph remained motionless, mesmerized by the perverse quality of its voice.  
  
"Lets boogey! Do do dooo, do do dooo!"  
  
Reaching into the ice encrusted box, he pulled the creature out by the tuft of hair on its head.   
  
"Whoooaa! Me scared!"  
  
He glared back at it, completely boggled. Exactly why was the freezer infested with ewok-gremlin fur balls? He couldn't recall having any intoxic beverages lately, or even watching any deranged movies to effect his reasoning. Then suddenly, Mike dashed into the room and stole the gremlin from his grasp, hugging it tightly against his plastron.  
  
"Mmmm, I love you," it purred in his arms.  
  
"Doh-Doh? Are you okay? Did Uncle Raph scare you?"  
  
It whimpered in reply.  
  
"What the HELL is that, and why is it in the freezer?!" Raph stuttered, going a bit red in the face. Mike petted Doh-Doh's cold fur, obviously shaken with worry and freight.  
  
"Doh-Doh, this is your Uncle Raph. I sorry we couldn't do the introductions more formally."  
  
"It looks like something Klunk coughed up."  
  
Mike ignored the comment.  
  
"I was playing hide and seek with him, and I had to ask Don to hide him for me. You know, so I didn't cheat, but I don't know how he got in the freezer. Don would never...or would he?" Mike paused.  
  
Raph cocked an eyebrow mockingly.  
  
"I don't know. Why don't you ask Uncle Don?  
  
Mike nodded, growing slightly pale.  
  
"Would you watch him for me?"  
  
"What do you think I am, a....," he started, but Mike had already shoved the gremlin in his hands and left.  
  
Disgusted, he plopped it onto the table and returned to his vacant cereal bowl. His Cheerios were soggy, but he didn't notice as he finished them, his eyes solely fix on Mike's....thing. He had already noticed the mechanical qualities of it, however.  
  
"Dum dum de dum."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"La la la laaaa la."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Boring," it sighed.  
  
"I saaaiiiiid SHUT UP!" He pointed his sai at it threateningly.  
  
"Whoa! Loud sound! Hehehe!"  
  
"That's it, now you've really pissed me off," He stood up and moved towards it grinning evily. His muscles coiled and ready for the death stroke.  
  
"Say your prayers, Hairball..."  
  
"Oh thanks Raph! You're real pal!" Mike galloped in smiling but stopped suspiciously as Raph flipped around towards him in alarm.  
  
"Mikey! Don't sneak up on me like that! I was just...uhh...showing it my sai."  
  
"HIM not IT," Mike snapped, suspecting nothing.  
  
"Oh yeah, right. So what did Don say?" Raphael quickly changed the subject.  
  
"Well, I asked him to hide Doh-Doh somewhere really hard. So he was just doing what I told him too."  
  
"Uh huh," Raph contained a grin at Mike's denseness. There were thousands of hard places to hide something that are a little less damaging then the freezer. But Raphael forsaw the purpose behind Don's actions, and decided not to reveal anything to his youngest brother. Mike nodded and grabbed his precious toy off the table and snuggled it close. It seemed to have fallen asleep during their conversation.  
  
"Okay! Me up!"  
  
"Don't forget, we have katas in an hour," Raph mentioned.  
  
Mike waved him off and departed the kitchen, patting his furby softly on the back. Raph's eyes followed the ball of fluff in his arms until they vanished behind the door. Then a sadistic shadow seemed to cloud over his eyes.  
  
"We will meet again, Hairball. I'll make sure of it." 


	3. FIRE!

Leonardo wiped a hand across his face in disgust. The stench pervading the lair clouded his vision with tears and hovered in his lungs, making him cough. As he approached the bathroom door, he paused a moment choking on the odor. Gathering his heavy breath, he pushed it open with one hand while allowing the other to cover his nose and mouth.   
  
"Don? We have practice now," he said even though his hand muffled it. Don was on his knees by the toilet pounding his head against the lid hopelessly.  
  
"It's no use! I can't get it to work!"   
  
Finally, Donatello noticed him and looked up. He was wearing one of the gas masks they had salvaged from the garbage. Though they hardly ever used them because they were rather awkward for the mold of their faces.  
  
"Common, Splinter said to hurry," Leo managed to gasp out while quickly removing his hand and then replacing it. Don sighed and got up, brushing himself off. He followed Leo out the door and took the mask off.   
  
"I can't stand this stench much longer! If I have to sleep in my room again, I'll pass out!"   
  
Leo patted him reassuringly on the shell as he trudged to the training room in despair. When they arrived, Splinter opened his eyes widely from meditating in lotus position.  
  
"Donatello, did you forget to shower this morning?"   
  
Mike and Raph snickered from the corner near the weapon rack. Don looked at the ground nearly blushing.  
  
"No, he's been trying to fix the...uh...plumbing problem, Master Splinter," Leo offered.  
  
"I see. Now my sons, please join me in a circle and we will start our prefight meditations."   
  
They all gathered around him, mimicking his lotus position. Splinter reached over and scooted a small candle table next to him, as to see their faces better in the dark.  
  
"Now, close your eyes and breath deeply. Clear all your thoughts and focus."  
  
They all obeyed silently, allowing their muscles to relax. Leo exhaled, but peaked an eye open as he noticed the room seemed to be getting brighter from under his eyelids. Looking towards the candle table, he noticed the flames on the wicks rising to twice their normal height. Suddenly, one of the flames expanded and created a small ember on one of Splinter's whiskers. He looked around in panic, but everyone else was calm and deep in meditation. Not even his Sensei seemed to notice. To his horror, the ember grew stronger and stronger until a weak flame was flickering with each of Splinter's deep breaths. Slowly, it caught another whisker on fire, until his whole furry face seemed to glow.   
  
"FIRE!"   
  
The group opened their eyes in shock. Spinter, nearly cross-eyed, fanned the flame in panic until Raph leaned over and extinguished it between his thumb and forefinger.   
  
"Ah, thank you Raphael," he said in a strained voice. Leo got up and quickly blew the candles out, leaving them in complete darkness.  
  
"Hhmm, those candles must have been feeding off of the excess methane in the air." Don thought out loud.  
  
"Donatello, turn the lights on, and kindly take shower when that task is finished."  
  
Don nodded, a bit ashamed, and got up, flipped the lights on, and trudged out moodily. Splinter waited until he could hear the shower water running, and when satisfied he returned his remaining pupils.  
  
"Leonardo and Michaelangelo, you will spar together today. Raphael, you will be with me until Donatello returns." They all bowed to him and scattered into position, bowing also to their opponent.  
  
"Go!"   
  
Immediately, they erupted into action.   
  
Meanwhile, Donatello stepped out of the second bathroom by Leo's room, thankfully in perfect working order. Polishing his head with a towel, he passed Mike's room but stopped when a familiar voice caught his attention. Curious, he opened the door and turned the lights on.  
  
"Oh, big light, hehehe!" Doh-Doh giggled from the floor. The furby laid on his side from a nose dive off the bed. Its pursuer, Klunk, watched from the edge twitching his tail in irritation.  
  
"Play with me?" It asked. Klunk hissed in reply. Don walked in and scooped it up into his arms. An over whelming desire to smash it to bits came over him. He was hoping that by putting it in the freezer earlier, it would be broken before Mike found it. But no, Raphael had to intervene, as usual.   
  
"I love you," it purred. Disgusted, he held it upside down by the base.  
  
"AH! No joke!"   
  
Suddenly, a revelation came to him. After patting Klunk on the head, he left the room still holding his hostage. Sneaking into the training room, he placed it on the floor, next to the table. Then he replaced Splinter to spar with Raph.  
  
They moved quickly into action.Raph made the first punch, and Don moved to the side easily and grabbed his arm.   
  
"Hey! You're cheating!"  
  
"Sshh! I brought you something." Raph ripped his arm away and spun into a round house kick. Donatello ducked, but did not counteract.  
  
"Oh? And what is that?"   
  
He reached out with his bo snagged the oncoming sias while entangling the prongs together with it. Raph jerked them out of the tangle in frustration.  
  
"Look over there on the floor." Raph took a quick glance and grinned evilly. He swiveled one sai around in his palm, aiming at the now sleeping furby. He withdrew his arm into throwing position, stilling keep a good aim on the target. Suddenly, Splinter blocked the sai's path.  
  
"Raphael? What is the matter?"   
  
He looked to Don in panic, and pointed to the furby. Splinter looked towards the table, and to his dismay animal resided there. He approached it curiously.  
  
"I do not believe I've seen this type of animal before," he said as he got a better view. By this time, Leo and Mike had stopped their spar. Mike gasped in horror and ran to save his precious toy. He scooped it up in his arms, inspecting it for any damages.  
  
"How did you get in here Doh-Doh?" Suddenly Klunk walked in, meowing," Did you bring him in here, Klunk? You bad kitty."   
  
Don exchange a quick glance with Raphael and observed the drama innocently. Saved by the cat. Lady Luck was on his side today! Although he wished his previous plan would have continued. Raph would have killed that thing right in front of Mike's face, and not only would it be disposed, but he'd get the entertainment of Raphael's punishment.Then Leo interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"What is going on Mike?"  
  
"Leo, Master Splinter, meet Doh-Doh," he held it up for them to behold.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well, I don't know. I found him in the junk yard yesterday. Isn't he cute?"  
  
"IT not HIM," Raph added.  
  
"You knew about this?"   
  
Raph and Don nodded.  
  
" No need to panic. It's just a toy, Master," Don said.  
  
Splinter eyed it, a little more relaxed now.  
  
"Then you may keep it as long as it doesn't disrupt us again."  
  
"Yes!" Mike hooted and hugged it.  
  
"Practice is finished," he gave a rare I-can't-take-much-more-of-this look,"The rest of the day is yours." With that said, he departed to trim his whiskers. Klunk meowed again, rubbing against their legs.  
  
"Oh! I forgot to feed you! No wonder you're being strange!" Mike leaned over and picked the cat up in his other arm while departing. Leo shrugged and left with him.  
  
"Lets meet in my room tonight," Raph whispered to Don,"We're going to get rid of that thing for good."  
  
  
  
*~By the way, if you're in the mood for some more humor, check out my short story "Honor Before Desire". It hasn't been read for awhile and it's getting lonely, lol. Paste this into your address bar to read it: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=787174   
  
Thanx for reading and don't forget to review! 


	4. Spies

Leonardo sat in his favorite recliner and sighed contentedly as he felt the rush from his previous workout subside. Sipping his morning coffee, he crossed his legs casually and shook a newspaper a few times until it was rigid in his hands. He began to read the lines avidly as if thankful for the retreat from the insanity of his home. Mike's new toy had caused him little concern for it was not uncommon for his brother to bring home pitiful little creatures whenever he came across one. Mike would bring an entire zoo home if he could.The only one he had ever disagreed with was the snake Mike had found, but that was just because it escaped at night and curled up in his slipper. That was a very rude awakening, he admitted. Over time he decided to just let Splinter deal with it. Sensei, in fact, let Mike keep very few of his pets. Klunk was the only one out of several that was allowed to stay. Besides, this new one was just a toy. No harm in that. Ignoring the clanks erupting from the kitchen, Leo turned the page to the sport section and continued reading. Moments later, Mike waltzed in munching his Captain Crunch cereal deafeningly.  
  
"Close your mouth, Mike," Leo said passively not even looking up from the paper. In response, his brother snatched the newspaper from his hands and ripped the comic section out. Leo gaped in shock as Mike placed it, tattered and torn, back in his hands.  
  
"Mike! What did you do that for?!" Leo threw the ruined newspaper aside and stood up to challenge him.  
  
"Your forgot to say please!" Mike shrugged. Leo rolled his eyes and sat back down, clearly irritated.  
  
"Look what you did to it!" he shoved it in Mike's face," Master Splinter hasn't read it yet! He'll be furious! Besides, he's had a rough morning as it is. You better go get him a new one."  
  
"Aw, Leo..."  
  
"Don't 'aw Leo' me," he reached into his belt and pulled out a quarter," Here."  
  
Exasperated, Mike took the coin from Leo's palm and left to retrieve his trench coat. Suddenly, he appeared in the living room again.  
  
"Hey Leo?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Will you watch Doh-Doh for me?"  
  
"I suppose," Leo mumbled rubbing his temple.  
  
"Thanks! You're a real pal! He's just in on my dresser."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Satisfied, Mike left, but the door was hardly in midswing when he suddenly stepped back in.  
  
"You'll take good care of him right?"  
  
"I'll do my best, Mike."   
  
He grinned and took his leave again. Five seconds later he returned.  
  
"Leo?"  
  
"Yeeesss?"  
  
"If he's hungry, just take a spoon and press on his tongue. He likes that."   
  
Leo nodded and waved him off, trying not to show his irritation. Again the door began to close behind him, but Mike stopped it and came back in.  
  
"And Leo, if..."  
  
"MIKE!"   
  
Michelangelo jumped slightly and quickly left. Leo shook his head and finished his already cold coffee. True to his word, he put his empty cup in the sink and headed for Mikey's room.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Raph and Donny strolled down the hall casually discussing their plans. As they passed Mike's room, Raph stopped in midsentence and halted Don.  
  
"You hear that?"   
  
Nodding, Don put the side of his head against the door carefully and listened. Raph did the same, and grinned widely.  
  
"Have you ever seen one that big?"  
  
"Ooooo!"  
  
"Yeah, I didn't think so.There's not many men out there who can claim that."  
  
Cocking and eyebrow, Raph exchanged glances with Don. Did they really want to be listening to this? Curiosity got the better of them, and their ears stayed glued against the door.  
  
"So how about you? Do you have one?"  
  
Some giggling answered.  
  
"Hhmm, maybe it's somewhere under all that fur."  
  
"I think that's Leo talking to Doh-Doh!" Don whispered.   
  
Raphael's eyes grew wide.  
  
"But where's Mike?"  
  
On the other side of the door, Leo sat on Mike's bed deep in conversation with the furby. He traced an exposed scar on his forearm with his finger.  
  
"Yeah, this is the result of a lot of hard work. Say, are you hungry? Mike said this was your favorite," Leo got off the bed and grabbed a spoon off of the dresser. Forcing its mouth open, he pushed down on its tongue as Mike instructed.   
  
"Yuuuuuuummmmmm. More!"   
  
Leo did it again.  
  
"Yuuuuuuummmmmm. Again!"  
  
He did as it said.  
  
"Yuuuuuuummmmmm!"  
  
Meanwhile, Don and Raph stood gaping at each other.  
  
"That's disgusting!" Raph whispered.  
  
" Urk. I think I'm gonna be sick!" Don's cheeks grew wide as he put his hand across his mouth. Suddenly, Splinter appeared behind them.  
  
"What is going on here?"  
  
The two flipped around in surprise.  
  
"Master Splinter! We were just..uuhh..checking the paint on Mike's door."  
  
"Yeah, it's looking a little...blue," Raph added. Splinter looked at them dully.  
  
"I do not tolerate spies."  
  
"But Leo's making out with Mike's toy!"   
  
Splinter seemed to go a little red in the face.  
  
"Ten flips now!"  
  
They groaned and left for the training room, shoving and blaming each other.  
  
Meanwhile, Splinter knocked on the door.   
  
"Leonardo? Are you in there?"  
  
The door opened and Leo peeked out.  
  
"Oh! Master Splinter!" he opened the door wider.  
  
"Have you, perhaps, seen the newspaper?"  
  
"Mike went to go get one. I was just watching Doh-Doh for him. You know, this little guy is actually pretty cute."  
  
Splinter eyed the furby in his hand suspiciously.   
  
"I see. Well, I'm going to meditate now. Will you notify me when he returns?"  
  
"Of course, Master."  
  
After Splinter walked away, Don and Raph peeked around the corner from eves-dropping again. While humming, Leo emerged from the room carrying a small bundle in his arms. Raph and Donny glared at him until he departed towards the living room. Then Don turned to his partner in crime.  
  
"This means war."  
  
  
*~FIN  
  
  
AN: Daydream, you'll see why Donatello wants to rip Doh-Doh apart soon. I haven't quite touched on it yet. But it'll make perfect sense once you know. *evil grin*.  
Remember there are three plots that I'll wrap up within the next chapter or two. #1 brotherly contention (Raph & Don vs. Mike & Leo) #2 an annoying furby and #3 a broken toilet. Any guesses??? =0) 


	5. The Battle Begins

"Okay," Raphael dropped his armload onto one of Don's lab tables,"Here's what I got. Silly string, whoopie cushion, invisible ink, rubber chicken, fake wig, invisible dog leash..."  
  
"You stole all that stuff from Mike, didn't you."  
  
"Yeah, well, whatever gets the job done," Raph shrugged and then continued,"Metal floss, nerdy glasses with a big nose and a mustach, a pet bug, squirting bow tie, clown shoes, finger trap, a gun...," he paused and pulled the trigger. Donatello flinched as a little flag pop out exclaiming 'BANG!'. Casually, he placed it back in and continued to sort through the belongings.  
  
"Beaver teeth, clap boards, flexible pencil, zapping hand shaker, and....," he paused again.   
  
Both of their eyes grew wide as Raph pulled out a porn magazine. Don turned away and hid his eyes while blushing profusely. Raphael glanced around and secretly slid it in his belt, whistling innocently. When the coast was clear, Don turned back to the junk, deciding to move on and ignore it.   
  
"Ahem...uuhh...okay. I brought a Solar Dynamic Power System, Digital Channel Simulator, Pressure Sensitive Paint, Microgravity Micro Accelerometer, Silicon Carbide Electronics for High-Power, Lithium Ion Batteries, Numerical Simulations of Multifluid, Lightweight Nickel Electrodes, Digital Encoder and Modulator..."  
  
"Okay, okay! I get the idea!"  
  
"And a Indium Cold Welding 41 Liquid Manipulation Acoustic."  
  
"You are such an egghead."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Am too!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Am too!"  
  
"Am NOT. And, by the way, you would not say 'am too'...'ARE too' would be more proper from your perspective."  
  
"My point proven."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Ignoring eachother they gathered their war materials for assembly and departed to set them up.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mike strolled casually down the side walk with his chin tucked deep into the collar of his trench coat. Some starred at his short and bulkyness, but very few got a glance of his green skin. Faint Christmas carols echoed across the tall buildings of New York City, and rang in his ears chearfully. Christmas was always the best holiday. People were unusually cheerful and giddy. The overall mood just seemed to add an extra spring to everyone's steps down the muddy sidewalks. Cars crowded the streets, throwing slush at all angles. As he passed a poor begger playing a harmonica on the street, he paused and let a coin drop into the collecting bowl.  
  
"Merry Christmas to you Sir, and God bless!"  
  
Mike grinned and gave a simple wave good-bye.When he finally reached the alley, he paused by the sewer lid and watched the people passing by the alley enterance totally oblivious to him. He sighed and wrapped his coat tighter around himself. Cold days like this one just adds more effort to any short walk, but it was usually worth it. Unfolding the damp newspaper, he began to thumb through it. Once Splinter and Leo got their hands on it, he'd probably never see it again. Sometimes he even asked them for some old ones for Klunk's litter box. Although he never knew exactly where they stashed them. Suddenly an article caught his attention named "Furby Frenzy". His eyes scanned it back and forth and when he finished he huffed.   
  
"Well that's weird. What kind of toy would a woman actually tackle and injure a little kid just to get the last one in the store?"  
  
Shrugging, he put it back into his pocket and opened the lid. Suddenly, a zap surged up his arm.   
  
"OW!" his voice echoed several times between the two brick walls surrounding him," Jeez, what the hell was that!" Pausing, he listened carefully when he thought he heard some retreating snickers from below him. Looking around suspiciously, he decided to try the lid again.   
  
Zzssttt.   
  
"Yoowwchh!"   
  
Becoming frustrated, he struggled to get a hold on the lid and open it with out burning his arm off. Zzzsssttt. Zzt. Zzzzt. Zsssttt. His teetch chattered as the electricity surged through him. Finally, he gave up and decided to find a sewer lid else where.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Splinter ambled into the kitchen and stopped at the "Mr. Tea" appliance to fill his cup back up. Leo sat in one of the chairs at the table, reading a book with the furby sleeping in his lap.  
  
"Has Michaelangelo returned yet?"  
  
"No, Master. Sorry."  
  
"Where are your other brothers?"  
  
Leonardo shrugged, not even looking up from his book. Splinter nodded with understanding and guided himself to a nearby chair by his son. Carefully, he straighted his kimono out and slowly sat down.  
  
Ppppppppfffffffffffttttttttttt.  
  
Leo looked up from his pages, rather disgusted by the sudden fart. Splinter's short whiskers twitched with embarassment.  
  
"Excuse me, I did not forsee that."  
  
Leonardo, looked around the kitchen uncomfortably.  
  
"Splinter...you might want to check...."  
  
Splinter gave him a confused look. Trying not to become impatient with him, he motioned for Spinter to stand up. His Master obeyed, and Leo reached for the whoopie cushion innocently deflated underneath.  
  
"Mike...," Leo seethed. Splinter examined it carefully.  
  
"Is this one of Michaelangelo's humor contraptions?"  
  
"Yes, Master."  
  
The rat shook his head, departed from the room. As Leo sat back down, and he listed to the mumbling from the hallway.  
  
"Kids. Twenty flips for that one. Dishonorable..."   
  
The voice faded and he returned to his book. After reading a couple pages, he reached for his coffee mug on the table nearby. Slowly, he took a sip, not even letting his eyes stray from the paper. As he set the mug back down, he let his fingers uncurl from the handle, but to his dismay they refused to obey. Frustrated, he brought his other hand over and tried to pry his fingers from the handle without avail.   
  
"What the..."  
  
He flicked it a few times, tried to pull it off with a spoon, and even placed the cup between his feet to stable his heaves. Finally, he gave up and let it dangle from his palm.   
  
"What is going on here?"   
  
He thoughts strayed to the whoopie cushion. He looked towards it with an acid glare. Then, some writting on the pinkish rubber caught his attention. Picking it up with his good hand, he read the message curiously.  
  
'Surrender the Hairball, or else!'  
D & R  
  
Suspiciously, he looked around. Did Don or Raph have anything to do with this? They were acting rather strange lately. His eyes laid to rest on the furby. What would they want with Mike's toy? Although completely boggled, he decided to just ignore this for now, and deal with his current problem.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Jingle bells, Bat Man smells...Robin laid an egg...," Mike sang softly as he searched frantically for another sewer cover away from curious eyes. It seemed like hours had passed since he encountered the first one. He made a note to himself to tell Donny about the electrical problem there. Starring at his feet, he thought he finally saw a rough and rusted edge of a sewer lid. Leaning over, he brushed the slush off, and gratefullness flooded him. Looking towards the sky, he outstretched his arms and mouthed 'thank you!' silently. He easily moved the obstruction aside and dropped in with a slight splash from the water below. He replaced the lid and sang to himself as he strolled down the tunnels in complete darkness. Suddenly, his ankels came in contact with something stringy, and he fell face first into a gooey and thick substance. Prying his face from the ground, he let his hands explore his face. Taking his finger, he scooped up a bit and put it in his mouth.  
  
"Mmmm! Syrup! That's kinda weird...," he began to grope around the walls searching for whatever he had fallen over. When he finally found it, he gave it a good tug and suddenly flour exploded in his face.  
  
"Okay..that was a stupid."  
  
He wiped as much flour from his face as the syrup allowed, and shouted into the depths of the sewer.  
  
"ALRIGHT! VERRRYYY funny! Hardy har har!"   
  
Nobody replied. Then a tiny dot of light caught his attention. He sprinted towards it and it turned out to be a flashlight hooked on the wall with a beam shining on a note.  
  
  
'Surrender the Hairball! Or you'll regret it!'  
D & R  
  
"Hairball? Doh-Doh?," Mike's eyes grew wide and he gasped. His baby was in trouble! He had to hurry! By now the syrup had dried limiting his movements considerably, but he ran towards to lair as speedily as possible.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"T'was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as musculus."  
  
"Donny!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If you're going to sing 'The Night Before Christmas' then do it right!"  
  
"Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas."   
  
A growl emerged from Raph.   
  
"The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums."  
  
"DONATELLO! SHUT UP!"  
  
"Okay! Okay!"  
  
The two sat crouched together in a nearby vent, waiting for Mikey to pass by.  
  
"Do you think he's coming yet?"  
  
"Well, YOU'RE the one who put syrup there! That should slow him down a bit."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, YOU'RE the one who hooked the zapper to the sewer lid, making him take that long of a detour!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
The two broke into a fist fight, and roughly fell from the vent to the tunnel ground below. They grunted slightly, and continued their brawl. Suddenly, another voice interupted them.  
  
"So YOU'RE behind all of this!" Mike glared at them from behind his floury face. They stopped abrubtly and looked at him in shock. Then they got up, brushed them selves off, and posed threateningly.  
  
"Ahem...surrender the Hairball, or you will payyyy!" Donatello boomed. Raph nodded approvingly.  
  
Mike gawked at them obviously unimpressed.   
  
"Why?" he shrugged. They looked at eachother.  
  
"Because you will payyyyyy!"   
  
Mike rolled his eyes.  
  
"I don't have time for this. I need a shower, Doh-Doh's probably lonely, and Splinter would probably like his newspaper if he can pry it open from all this syrup," he stopped taking a deep breath.  
  
Raph and Don looked at eachother again.  
  
"Okay, you asked for it!"   
  
They pulled out cans of silly string, and sprayed him down until their cans were empty. As Mike kneeled on the ground, fighting his way through the enigma of foam, Raph and Don ran away to formulate their next evil plan for the commencing battle ahead. 


	6. The funeral

Behind the couch, Leonardo kneeled with a spatula to defend himself in one hand and the coffee mug still clinging to the other. His muscles were firmly clenched and readied for any sudden attacks, while Doh-Doh rested nearby on the floor peacefully. He knew they were coming. Raph wouldn't stop until he had won the war and Donatello made the tactics all the more crafty and difficult to counteract. Glancing around nervously, he petted it trying to gain some comfort in this horrible situation. Suddenly, someone came through door and Leonardo sprang into action. He let out a war whoop and smacked his spatula repeatedly against his attacker. As the metal repeatedly made contact, bits of flour, foam, and dried syrup cracked off and fell to the floor.   
  
"Owowowowowowow! Leo stop it!" the gooey monstrosity screamed trying to escape his wrath.  
  
"Mike?" Leo stepped back and blinked.  
  
"Oh, Leo it was awful! They attacked me!" Mike almost began to cry and collapsed into his brother's arms. Leo easily broke his fall and guided him to the couch. The wounded soldier clung to the straps holding Leo's weapons on his chest, and tearfully looked him in the eyes.  
  
"Oh, cruel world! My time has been cut short."  
  
"Mike, don't talk like that."  
  
"Leo...if you need it, it's in the closet."  
  
"Need what Mike?"   
  
Great, he was already delirious.  
  
"You'll take care of Doh-Doh for me, won't you Leo?"  
  
"I promise, Mike. You're going to be okay."  
  
"You were," he paused to cough,"....the best brother ever."  
  
"Mike! Don't leave me!"  
  
"I love...," Mike stopped in midsentence and fell into a deep and exhausted sleep. Fire burned deeply in Leo's pale eyes as he left the side of the casualty.  
  
"I will avenge you!"   
  
Mike let out a slight snore. What was he talking about? What was in the closet? Leo trudged into Mike's room and opened the closet door. On the top shelf, a paintball gun gleamed in the light wickedly. Grinning evily, he found a pack of paintballs nearby and he loaded it triumphantly. Now he had a chance! Returning to Mike, he slide the furby underneath the couch to hide it, and then he left the comforts of his home for the battle field.   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Raph and Don sloshed down the tunnels with victory shining in their wake.   
  
"Did you see his face?!" Don laughed, slapping his thigh.  
  
"No, not really."   
  
Both of them laughed harder and gave high five. Suddenly, Raph stopped and grabbed Don by the rim of his shell.  
  
"Do you hear that?"  
  
Don accidentally snorted, but quickly stopped laughing and listened. Some distant sloshing echoed slightly around them.  
  
"Somebody's coming!" Don whispered.  
  
"Positions!"   
  
The two quickly scrambled away and hid in the darkness.  
  
Meanwhile, Leo trudged loudly through the water. He was pissed. The gun was pointed ahead of him, aiming at nothing. He continued his march for awhile, until he slowed wondering if he was even going the right way. Then suddenly, an egg careened through the darkness and shattered on his face. The goo dribbled down his cheek and dripped off, but his angry expression remained unfaultered. With the reflexes of a cat, he spun around and shot three balls into the empty blackness. A smile of satisfaction widened across his face as a scream and curses replied. Then another egg slapped the back of his head, and he spun around firing more shots. The same result although lacking the curses. By then, eggs were hailing around him and he swiveled around in circles firing his gun like Rambo. Occasionally, he even stopped to catch a few eggs with the cup glued to his hand. The storm of paintballs and eggs continued until the trigger finally clicked, signaling the lack of ammo. Defeated, he raised his arms up in surrender. His enemies approached, shinning a flashlight beam in his face. Raph glared at him from behind the paint splattered all over him, and grinned. Donatello came up from behind him, and immediatly tied his hands up, avoiding the cup carefully, of course.  
  
"Where is the hairball?!"  
  
"I'll never tell you!"   
  
"Take him away for questioning," Raph sneered. Don saluted and hauled Leonardo towards the lair. As they came in, Leo gasped slightly when he noticed the empty couch, but he didn't want to clue his enemies in on anything. They roughly shoved him into the kitchen and gathered around the table .  
  
"Now, tell us where it is."  
  
"Never!"  
  
Raph cocked and eyebrow nodded to Don, who gave a thumbs up in reply. He pulled out a package of life savers and opened it with a loud pop.  
  
"Tell us...," Raph warned, but his older brother remained silent. Don licked one of the life savers and stuck it to Leo's face. He grimaced in disgust, but still didn't reveal anything.   
  
"Tell us now!"   
  
Nothing. Don licked an orange one and stuck it on his face again. The interrogation continued until Leo's face was completely invisible under a coat of life savers.   
  
"Hhmm...lets move to 'plan B'," Don nodded and left.  
  
"Now you REALLY got it coming," Raph leaned over and grinned at his prisoner. Don returned with a pizza box and took out an extra cheesy slice of pepperoni. He hovered it in front of Leo's face until his brother began to salivate with the deliciously drifting fumes.  
  
"Now do you give in?"   
  
Leo looked down at the pizza, then back at Raph with pleading eyes.  
  
"Okay! Okay! It's under the couch!"   
  
Don lied the piece on the table and left with Raph to retrieve their prize. Leo anxiously leaned down and devoured the pizza without hands even though a few life savers got in his way. They returned with vicious frowns.  
  
"You liar! Take him to the prison!"  
  
Don grabbed him roughly and guided him to the broken bathroom. They shoved him in, and locked the door. Raph smiled with satisfaction as Leo pounded on the other side of the door begging for mercy.  
  
"Little stinky isn't it!" Raph shouted into the door and laughed," Okay, you stay here and guard the door, while I find Mike. He HAS to have it!"   
  
Don nodded and took a straight soldier stance with his trusty bo at the ready. Raphael scampered away to begin his search. Meanwhile, Don stayed in position trying to ignore Leo's pleas.   
  
"Don...I'm your brother! This is ridiculous! It's just a toy!" the muffled voice chattered.  
  
Don ignored it and continued starring forward.  
  
"I'm telling Splinter about this! You're going to be doing flips for weeks!"  
  
Don didn't even blink.  
  
"Pppppppllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."  
  
Don remained passive.  
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, some movement caught the corner of his eye. Don spun around just as Mike bashed a pot over his head with a loud clank.  
  
"Oooh, look at all the Papaipema baptisiaes!" Don giggled watching invisible birds float around his head and then he collapsed.  
  
Mike dusted his hands off and unlocked the door. Leo rushed out and gasped for air.   
  
"Mike! You're aliiiiiive!" Leo pulled him into a bear hug.  
  
"I was only taking nap! And get away from me, you smell horrible!"   
  
Flabbergasted, Leo pulled away, but still grinned with happiness.  
  
"Raph's still out there looking for you. We have to be careful. What did you do with it?"  
  
"Sshh, it's better if only I know."   
  
Leo nodded in agreement while pulling life savers off of his face," Well, let's go get him!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Raphael circled the perimeter of Mike's room carefully. It had to be here somewhere. Then suddenly he heard a tiny giggle. He grinned maliciously and followed the sounds just like he had in the kitchen. He stopped at the closet and put his ear against it. A snort confirmed it. He flung the door open, his sai ready for the attack when a paint ball suddenly exploded on his forehead.  
  
"HAHAHA! Major look!" Mike laughed from inside the closet.  
  
Raph staggered back in surprise and landed on his butt. Both Leo and Mike came out of the closet and surrounded him.  
  
"Tsk, tsk. So gullible, Raphael!" Leo shook his head, little gobs of life saver juice remained in some areas.   
  
Raph growled deep in his throat.   
  
"Now I think the tables have turned!" They approached him sadistically with the paint gun.  
  
"Well, I think the tables have turned again!" Mike and Leo gasped when Donatello appeared in the doorway holding a porn magazine up. Raph felt his belt, wondering how in the world Don had got a hold of it.   
  
"Where did you get that?!" Mike gasped.  
  
"YOUR toy bag! Wouldn't Splinter just LOVE to hear about this?"  
  
Mike gasped and dropped to his knees, begging.  
  
"No! Don't tell Master Splinter. I'll do anything!"  
  
"Anything?" Raph got up and walked to Don's side.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"You know what we want."  
  
Mike nodded with sorrow and went into the closet. He returned with Doh-Doh resting innocently in his palm. Slowly, they traded their items. Mike snatched the magazine and quickly hid it, while Don and Raph glowered at their prize. Mike returned and sniffled.   
  
"I'll miss you Doh-Doh."  
  
"Me too," Leo added.  
  
The two broke down in sobs, holding each other in grief.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
:::The Next Day:::  
  
"...and death is only the beginning," Leo said nobly and then he shut his bible. A glob of dried glue still remained on his palm, but atleast the cup was gone.  
  
Mike broke into sobs, occasionally blowing his nose loudly on a tissue. Raphael and Donatello stood behind him glowering in anger. Splinter remained behind them making sure their punishment was carried out properly and they didn't escape. Leo approached the toilet and dropped a plastic eyeball in.  
  
"Thank you for all the great times Doh-Doh."  
  
Don moved forward watching Splinter in the corner of his eye.  
  
"Ahem...uhhh...thank you for sacrificing yourself as our new toilet handle," he said softly and dropped a battery in the bowl.  
  
Splinter shoved Raph forward.  
  
"Thank you for being a royal pain in the..."  
  
"Raphael!"  
  
"I mean, for being a royal..uhh..joy among us."  
  
Raph scowled and let an ear float down into the bowl with the rest of the items. Finally, Mike approached.  
  
"I-I..love...loved..y-y-y..," Suddenly he collapsed on the edge of the toilet and cried. Leo patted him on the back, and stole a quick glare at his other brothers.   
  
"It's okay. I'm okay, Leo," he got up and let a handful of fluff drift in to join the other things.  
  
"Good-bye, Doh-Doh. We will always remember you!"   
  
Everyone saluted and Leo pushed play on a stereo nearby. A funeral durge began to play. Mike leaned over and touched the new handle made of furby parts. With sorrow he pushed down on it and watched as the parts swirled down the toilet until they vanished into its maw. The toilet coughed a sputtered until the water suddenly began to rise and flood over the edge. The crowd ran away from the tidal wave shouting and screaming in horror.  
  
"NNOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: *stands in front of a podium holding the "TMNT humor fanfic emmy" award* I'd like to thank the NASA website for donating their huge words to me, Brinatello for sharing her furby gossip ^_^ and accidentally laughing when she was suppose to be quite (yes he was bored) , some random website for lending me their "Brain" version of "The Night Before Christmas", Hexadecimal for threatening to make me paaayyyyy, Lenni for encouraging me to kill it as soon as possible and admitting she talks to furbys, Dancingfae for commenting about Leo's furby...erm...affair 0.0 and agreeing with my simple but true disclaimer, Daydream for nagging me constantly about Donatello (and if you STILL didn't get it, he was planning to make Doh-Doh a toilet handle all along. Rememeber that revelation? *wink*), Lone Wolfette for saying Doh-Doh's evil, KC for liking my evil plot twist, Raphielle for slapping herself and sacrificing sleep to read this, Milly for simply hating furbys, Ciara Rivers for begging, Angel of Death for being the first reviewer and also threatening me to read his stories, Cdplay for getting in trouble for me and the curiosity of the porn magazine, my family, my car, my dog, my tree in the front yard, the dirt under my house...aaannnddd....oh! And I'd also like to thank my little brother for lending me his furby so I could listen to its speech patterns and also allowing me to brake it while I had the chance =0). The End! ^_^ *everyone applauses and Zip leaves the podium* 


End file.
